Coventry Quiffs 2023: Bell Green and Walsgrave

Hold onto your hairpieces folks, it's that time of year again when the Hub Marketing Board go gaga over Lady Godiva. Our annual Coventry Caper is always a highlight without exception, so what will this 11th installment bring our way... 

- 'Starry Night' -

Trip Log: Friday 17th November 2023 and it is indeed time once more for Hub Marketing members to conquer Coventry. In more recent years, we've tended to include some Brum-based sculpture spotting as part of our Coventry itinerary and this edition will maintain that very custom by seeking out some of the Snowdogs that have been dotted around the city centre in the lead-up to Christmas. Inspired by the Raymond Briggs canine character, ten such specimens await discovery including 'Starry Night' by the Centenary Square ice rink.

- 'Elf' -

Part of our Snowdog hunt takes us through the site of the Frankfurt Christmas Market, albeit most of the stalls are barricaded off until opening time later in the day. 'Ru-dog' has a suitably crimson red nose in the shadows of the Council House while 'Roodle' offers a bristly fibreglass texture over in Piccadilly Arcade. A quick scout around by St Philip's Cathedral reveals 'Elf' all dressed up in the green and red uniform associated with Santa's little helpers, then for an added bonus we find a pullover-wearing polar bear standing sentry outside The Ivy. 

- Covert Car Park Surveillance -

That was certainly a lot of fun but let's crack on with the main event shall we? The 10:36 Euston train conveys us to Coventry by quarter past eleven, and our first task thereafter is to inspect a closed multistorey car park that Mr D9 has had his eye on for years. New Union Street is the location for this classic piece of 1960s concrete construction, and though the facility was taken out of public use in 2021, the Chairman can still get very excited about its yellow and white tiles, rounded P symbols and disused public conveniences. 

- Route 7 at Bell Green Terminus -

With the Secretary in charge of our agenda, we proceed to Bell Green with assistance from the number 7 bus (the route runs cross-city from Brownshill Green, partly replacing what used to be the 10). Our journey takes us from Gosford Street to Roseberry Avenue via Ball Hill, Clay Lane, Barras Heath and Wyken Croft, not forgetting a full loop of Henley Green for good measure. As is essential whenever we're in Coventry, we unleash a Rock and Roll singalong in honour of former bus driver Rocking Ron West which means the top deck is soon subjected to tunes such as 'Blue Moon', 'Poetry in Motion' and 'Who Put The Bomp'.

- Riley Square -

We'd been to Bell Green previously (in 2014 to be exact) so we know what to expect in terms of Riley Square and its dubious charms - think high rise tower blocks, offputting flats and a miserably ugly shopping precinct for starters. A fortified bunker of a post office adds to the flavour whilst other local amenities include a community library, a Farmfoods store and the Trojan gym. Our priority however is Bell Green Working Mens Club where we had hoped to pause for a belated Full English breakfast; alas they stopped serving food here a couple of years ago but we can nevertheless relish the timewarp qualities of the original club interior. Tetley's, Carling and a soundtrack of 'Come on Eileen' mean we could literally be back in 1982, and the red ceiling tiles look like they could pop out at any moment.

- George admires the Trump Quiff -

If the WMC made a favourable impression, we're nowhere near as enamoured with the Rose & Crown on Hall Green Road. It's a standard council estate boozer really, a little rough around the edges, with the Racing Channel on the go and a couple of banners paying tribute to the late Queen Elizabeth II. A quick Carling each is sufficient to say we've been, and it's quite a relief to get safely onto the 7 for our onward connection back to Ball Hill. A critical component of any Coventry trip is the ceremonial unveiling of the latest quiff, and it's fair to say that the Chairman has excelled himself this year - may we introduce you to the Trump Quiff, lovingly crafted out of beige parcel paper complete with all the sideburns anyone could wish for!

- Red Lion, Walsgrave -

A Blackberry Lane pit stop pays dividends for the Hungry Elephant (previously the Kings Banqueting Suite), a flat-roofed box which has been refreshed with modern decor and an Indian menu to match. The Old Ball Hotel on the main Walsgrave Road feels like a faded coaching inn and helps us momentarily escape from the Friday afternoon traffic, then we intercept an incoming number 8 for the grind down to Walsgrave. St Mary's Parish Church beckons in the dusky gloom, and practically next door to that is the Red Lion, an Ember establishment serving a decent half of Titanic's Plum Porter. Our quest for completion demands we try out the Mount Pleasant too for a helping of Hungry Horse hospitality.

- Bequiffed Darts at the New Pippin -

Neither the Red Lion nor the Mount Pleasant excited us to any degree but the New Pippin is more to our liking, and its dartboard is unoccupied too. Possibly weighed down by wearing the Trump Quiff, D9 Destroyer struggles to hit the scoring heights whereas WME Whirlwind has found his clinical groove; three genuine double finishes in a row is practically unheard of in the annals of Hub Marketing darts duels and yet the Secretary conjures up a stunning sequence when powering his way to a 4-3 victory. I still can scarcely believe it!!

- Guzzling Guinness in Rosie Malone's -

Drinking halves has given us scope to conclude matters over a couple of Central Coventry nightcaps. Rosie Malone's on Jordan Well suits us fine for a glug of Guinness in amongst the toucan touches, then we finish off at a newly-established microbrewery bar situated within the student apartments of Parkside. The Triumph Brewhouse started trading in August and is very handy for the railway station so it's definitely worth seeking out; we partake of their standard stout and an 8% wowsers of an imperial peanut butter concoction that is absolutely gorgeous! The 19:16 train runs to schedule and that'll be that, Coventry conquered for another year.