Saturday, February 10

Mopping Up Around Old Hill and Cradley Heath

The Hub Marketing Board have been very thorough over the years when it comes to amassing our West Midlands pub repertoire, meaning our recent trips have tended to become mopping up exercises plugging any lingering holes. Chairman D9 has now earmarked Cradley Heath and Old Hill as areas in need of some additional attention, and with the forecast set for rain, rain and more rain we might be mopping in more ways than one!

- Route 1 at Dudley (Tower Street) -
It's Friday 9th February 2024 and the weather is already drab and dreary as Hub Marketing members descend upon Dudley for an 11:45am rendezvous. The closure and demolition of Dudley Bus Station means that bus services are terminating at various stops across the town centre, including at Coronation Gardens, Priory Road and Tower Street - the latter location is where the number 1 terminates (at the end stand opposite the Malt Shovel) so the Secretary lands here after journeying across from Tettenhall Wood. A new £24 million interchange is due to open in 2025 (all being well) with modern passenger provision to replace the 1986 facility.

- Theakston's Tarmac in Ella's Bar -
Dodging persistent drizzle, we board the 19 bound for our opening destination of the day - Netherton. Regular readers would at this point be expecting us to beat a path straight to Ma Pardoe's front door but no! In an almost sacrilegious turn of events, we instead target Ella's Bar further along Halesowen Road. This used to be the local Labour Club and defies our dive predictions by being reasonably smart and comfortable inside (external appearances are still a little off-putting mind). Bottletop and penny coin tables, a stage area and panda artworks add to the intrigue as we try to avoid watching 'Loose Women' over our opening pints of Carling and Theakston's Mild respectively. Swerving the Old Swan? Well I never...

- The Charts Are Revealed -
Mr D9 fancies a Darby End detour for his next trick but things don't quite work out as planned because both the Gate Hangs Well and the Red Lion are closed of a Friday lunchtime. Maybe we're just being unlucky with our timings so a stomp up Gawne Lane gets us back on track, passing the White Lion pub-turned-cafe in the process. Powke Lane is subjected to the upper echelons of the 2023 Pick of the Pops chart; we'd started the countdown in Telford last time but DJ Hubbacini got too distracted by his beer and forgot to announce the top five. Happily we can now confirm that 'We All Love Tiny Tim' claimed the number one position as Silly Song of the Year, a revelation we mark over a hefty cob and celebratory glass of Elephant Riders Pale Ale at the Old Bush Revived. Black Country Ales have kept the place pleasingly traditional since taking it on from Banks's, well worth climbing the steep hill for. 

- Spring Meadow Signage -
Thankfully for the Chairman's lungs, it's downhill next all the way into Old Hill as we continue to compile our list of 2024 Silly Song candidates. This trip's contributors will be Bruce Forsyth ('My Little Budgie', as awful as you might imagine) and Stephen Lewis (yes him again, this time with 'Tickets Please'). Our eardrums have only marginally recovered by the time we reach Halesowen Road and swoop upon the Spring Meadow, tastefully refurbished after a catastrophic fire a few years ago. Glossing over the beer choice (John Smiths vs Doom Bar), we admire the heritage pictures dotted around the walls including recalling the heyday of the Old Hill Plaza, an important venue in the formation of Led Zeppelin no less!

- A Sighting of Satchmo?! -
While it is heartening that the Spring Meadow has been able to survive and indeed thrive despite such a significant setback, other Old Hill watering holes haven't been so resilient. Satchmo's (historically the George) has been turned into a pharmacy although you can still detect a portrait of the great Louis Armstrong outside; the Cooksey expired several years back, and news now reaches us that the Riddins Tavern on Mossvale Close has shut down and is unlikely to ever trade again. Another backstreet Banks's boozer gone for good?

- D9 Destroyed in the Cottage Spring -
One relatively recent arrival to offset these casualties is of course Wheelie Thirsty, Fixed Wheel's micropub as situated in a former bank/pizza takeaway. Wheelie Pale is crystal clear nectar when paired with a tiger roll and a packet of scratchings - their meal deal is very good value we think - plus we like the various cycling-related illustrations on display. Things are arguably less cultured however at the Cottage Spring off Bowling Green Road, an average estate affair which apparently serves up carvery roast dinners. We decide to make this our darting starter for 2024, occupying the oche across four not-very-clinical legs which WME Whirlwind edges by a 3-1 scoreline; perhaps D9 Destroyer was getting befuddled by his Beardsmore bleach or an entourage of children playing pool nearby. 

- A Holly Bush Bald Spot -
Progressing deeper into Cradley Heath, we ponder the Holly Bush on Newtown Lane where the bald spot is interested in the idea of Thursday night comedy clubs. There isn't any sign of life there on a Friday evening though so we relocate to the Cherrywood Smokehouse over on Graingers Lane which acts as our second ex-Labour Club of the day as well as seeing us gatecrashing another wake too, not that the Chairman is successful in his attempts to grab any buffet leftovers! Nepalese and Indian food is their stock-in trade so we make a mental note to visit for a mixed grill on a future expedition when we're not so stuffed with cobs. 

- Home D9 and Don't Spare the Horses! -
Our final slice of mopping up activities brings us neatly into Quarry Bank because Mr D9 has yet to have the pleasure of the Old Liberal or the Beer Bank. Secretary WME rates them both very highly and is pleased that they are as lively as when he visited with HRH last November; perhaps in honour of Nick, we partake of halves of Royal Beast in the latter (albeit minus any free mince pies) and even check out their padded throne, not quite as thorny as the seat in Wolverhampton's Giffard Arms but you can't have everything. A quick shuffle up towards The Delph yields a HPA nightcap in the Brickmakers Arms before the number 8 bus drops nicely for a D9 driving-infused journey home. Much mopping was thus achieved - cheers!

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