Hub Marketing: Pick of the Pubs (The Alternative Chart)...

As lockdown stretches on a while longer, so too does our mini-series of posts recalling memorable pubs from Hub Marketing history. Having already revealed his personal favourites in our previous chart, the Chairman now fixes his attentions on some other establishments that certainly made a lasting impression...

Yes folks, brace yourselves because Mr D9 absolutely adores his dives and I sense that this is the list he's most enjoyed putting together for us. Not every place we visit can be a classic of course, and it's fair to say we've had plenty of interesting 'warts and all' experiences since the Hub Marketing Board was founded in early 2011. Depressing dumps and soulless corporate barns all add to the fun one way or another, but this next chart celebrates a further twenty boozers that - for better or worse - truly ensured themselves of an entry in the Hub Hall of Fame.

- Kings Head, Brierley Hill -

#20 >>> at the base of the listing is an establishment that's about as back to basics as Brierley Hill can get. What the Kings Head lacks in furniture it makes up for in sheer force of personality thanks to a loud rock-oriented jukebox and a general air of scruffiness. Bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale were the order of the day when we called in during our 'Wolf Watch' trip of 2017.

#19 >>> also lurking among the lower reaches is the Seventh Trap at Perry Barr, its name being a reference to the adjacent greyhound track. A run of the mill Banks's effort, Mr D9 likes to imagine illicit 1970s meetings here when businessmen might have met their secretaries for some clandestine canoodling. Whether any such thing really happened is another matter entirely, and we didn't detect any obvious extra-marital shenanigans during our November 2015 visit. 

- Seventh Trap, Perry Barr -

#18 >>> a very well-known pub clocks in at number 18 as we acknowledge the leaning legend that is the Crooked House near Himley. Wonky walls and disconcerting optical illusions are the result of historic mining subsidence, hence the sturdy buttresses preventing any further distortion of the building. Our attendance in February 2019 was accompanied by a certain landfill pong that meant the pub didn't quite enchant us as much as anticipated. 

#17 >>> more spartan stuff from Brierley Hill now as the Dog & Partridge registers itself in 17th position. A long-time fixture on the bottleneck High Street, this was a key component of our Round Oak Run pubcrawl of May 2013 that recalled the heyday of the closed local steelworks. A bare brick facade was matched by a plain interior complete with vintage keg font fittings and a predilection for horse racing.

- Star & Garter, West Bromwich -

#16 >>> how's about something reasonably hardcore from West Bromwich? Market pubs by their nature can tend to be quite raucous and that was certainly the case at the Star & Garter back in December 2014. Situated on the pedestrianised section of the High Street, we stopped by for a pre-Christmas drink on our way back from Tamworth whereby the regulars were most definitely getting into the festive spirit!

#15 >>> a few of the Chairman's choices would induce serious Secretarial shuddering at the mere thought of sampling them, and the Town Crier in Birmingham's Highgate required a suitable slice of courage during January 2020. The frontage was bordering on the hideous, homespun signage with letters hanging off, but we couldn't fault the friendliness of the welcome inside - communal watching of 'The Chase' seemed to be in vogue with plenty of appreciation for Bradley Walsh!

- The Kingstanding -

#14 >>> West Bromwich earns a second top 20 entry courtesy of the Old Crown on Sandwell Road, stranded in a part of town that increasingly feels like a forgotten wasteland. As per the Town Crier, absent lettering could be detected here in May 2014 so we wondered whether we were sampling the 'Old Crow' instead - a crafty Carling did the trick while we also noted the existence of the Sun Garage next door. I wonder if either establishment is still going as the mechanics workshop looked to be on its last legs too. 

#13 >>> regular readers will be expecting a precinct pub somewhere on this chart and we'd hate to disappoint anybody. The Kingstanding in (funnily enough) Kingstanding more than fits the bill, being exceedingly brown and angular on the end of some shops. A 1960's M&B rebuild of an earlier roadhouse, we approached with considerable trepidation that was soon soothed by the prospect of watching some cricket coverage although the Chairman seemed more concerned about the 451 route's timetable reliability. Fire damage suffered in 2019 means this one faces a very uncertain future.

- The Bugle Horn, Frankley -

#12 >>> Mr D9 has dished out further precinct plaudits, this time for the Bugle Horn near Frankley which acted as our nightcap destination during the South Birmingham Rovers trip of September 2013. This Wareham Road wonder had the Chairman drooling with delight, or was he just excited at the thought of quaffing some Worthingtons bleach? We did the Lickey Bankey and the Coldstream on the same day, making for a veritable feast of flat roof action!

#11 >>> falling agonisingly short of the top ten is the Crown at Aldridge, an Anchor Road landmark that stands beside a very 1960s shopping centre. The Secretary remembers this being known as the Elms but it was an average Crown Carveries outlet by June 2016 - if memory serves correctly, we gulped down some instantly forgettable Greene King IPA before catching a 997 bus named after Mr D9's daughter. 

In a cruel but hardly unexpected twist, the remainder of the countdown must wait for a future post I'm afraid, although the Chairman insists it's not one you want to miss. In the meantime, the good news is that today (Saturday 4th July) marks the point of the pandemic at which pubs are permitted to reopen - hurrah! Best of luck to all those West Midlands watering holes that will be tentatively welcoming customers once more, we look forward to seeing you soon.