- Sent to the Stocks! -
After riding across to Birmingham with a work-bound Mr Beardsmore, I surprise Nick by arriving at Warwick Parkway early in readiness for a bonus look at Hatton Bottom Lock on the Grand Union Canal. My over-eagerness is quickly punished once we decamp to Warwick Castle, whereby I am banished to the stocks from the moment I enter the castle grounds - one wonders if they receive a regular supply of drunkards in these parts, although in my defence I was very much sober at the time and always endeavour to promote responsible alcohol consumption!!
- Castle Gatehouse -
Warwick Castle is simply magnificent. An intact medieval fortress that traces its history back over a thousand years, the sheer scale of the place is mightily impressive. There is plenty to see and do so Nick Turpin and I have much to keep us occupied, starting with the gatehouse and towers as we stroll through to the courtyard.
- Daisy Darling -
The Great Hall certainly merits our attention, featuring displays of armoury, waxwork royalty and oversized porridge pots. Artefacts on display include Queen Anne's death bed and a clock reputedly owned by Marie Antoinette while the opulent splendour of the State Dining Rooms have played host to many monarchs. We visit the chapel and the servants quarters, although our most memorable encounter comes in Daisy Greville's chamber where the young countess seems to take rather a shine to our highwaymen hero.
- Warwick the Kingmaker -
If the Great Hall boasts the grand interiors of a stately home, the Kingmaker exhibition transports us to the world of medieval warfare as we take in the sights, sounds and smells from the Wars of the Roses. Once again there are Madame Tussauds waxwork characters to add a sense of drama to proceedings, none more so than Warwick the Kingmaker brandishing his sword ready to anoint the next royal figurehead. Sadly for Nick Turpin, his resemblance to a certain current prince did not gain him an instant promotion.
- Meeting Merlin -
Besides the main castle buildings there are extensive parklands to explore, including gardens designed by Capability Brown and a soothing stroll beside the River Avon. We are drawn towards the Birds Of Prey enclosure where prime predators can be seen, notably Merlin the bald eagle and Bruce the buzzard. Avian life of a more sedate variety can be found over by the conservatory where an ostentation (or muster) of peacocks roam around among their carefully-trimmed topiary counterparts.
- Gunning for passing peasants -
Gripped by a sense of adventure (or in my case, plain vertigo) we take to the ramparts and battlements to enjoy the views from on high. Spiral stone staircases lead us to the top of Guy's Tower from whence we can survey the panorama over Warwick town and surrounding lands, although luckily for our fellow visitors we don't have to hand any excrement to hurl down from the gatehouse murder holes. The Guard Room contains examples of various ammunition as Terror Turpin prepares to unleash his arsenal on any misbehaving riffraff.
- A highwayman homage -
Our closing castle call is at the gaol with claustrophobic conditions that include an insanitary oubliette - you wouldn't want to be incarcerated here for any length of time. Thankfully there isn't a warrant out for Nick Turpin's arrest today so we can escape into wider Warwick in search of refreshment. The Thomas Lloyd Wetherspoons offers Fish Friday deals and sightings of a Byatt's 'Big Cat' while the Kings Head delivers Warwickshire's Best accompanied by Masters snooker. Two Saltisford murals then take our eye - the first (outside the Black Horse) depicts the notorious Bendigo Mitchell preying upon stagecoaches much as our own highwayman aspires to do, while the second (at the Antelope) depicts a Warwickshire Regiment battle scene, the pub being named from the use of antelopes as the regimental mascot.
- Saltisford Canal Arm -
Sunset in Saltisford brings with it the prospect of a stroll along the local canal arm, a residential moorings offshoot from the main line of the Grand Union. Glorious pink skies add a peculiar hue as we peruse the narrowboats and make the acquaintance of Bernard the wicker bear. The Dun Cow pub serves this particular stretch of waterway and does us nicely for a splash of Duck Soup.
- Poised in the Old Post Office -
As dusk falls, a steady saunter across the racecourse leads us to our final handful of pubs. The Old Fourpenny Shop is a relaxing bar/hotel on Crompton Street, while the Vine on West Street feels particularly upmarket as we attempt to handle a Purity Mad Goose. Last but certainly not least comes the Old Post Office, a crowdedly popular micropub where a swift half of Prescott's Winter Best stout sets us up perfectly for the train journey home. So concludes our jolly jaunt - just the job for January!
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