D9 Does... Stafford and Uttoxeter

Friday 6th December 2013 and the countdown to Christmas means that some festive ferreting is very much in order as the Hub Marketing brigade descend upon Staffordshire...

- A Grace-ful Pose -

Chilly mornings make early starts a challenge but all members are present and correct for the 76 out of Wolverhampton, trundling on through Coven and  Penkridge to reach Stafford for half past eight. The Chairman is immediately on alert for previous pavement pizza scars although the Sun's 'evidence' appears to have been painted over so we have to make do with meeting WG Grace over at Victoria Park.

- Marketing the Bald Spot -

Stafford was very much entering the yuletide spirit with decorations along Greengate Street and a large tree taking pride of place in Market Square. The Italian stalls weren't the only things on display though as D9's bald spot crept into view when the Chairman was distracted by a rare pillar box.

- The Uttoxeter Closet -

Our link to Uttoxeter is the 841 bus, a route that probably doesn't make a "big fat profit" but does take in some enjoyable village scenery through Tixall, Great Haywood and Little Haywood. We arrive in Uttoxeter just on quarter past ten whereby Mr D9 immediately makes a beeline straight for the toilet and finds to his surprise that the spotless gents is decorated with pot plants and ceramic duck ornaments.

- Uttoxeter Market Place -

Uttoxeter is a market town in East Staffordshire that is notable for its racecourse, Stevenson's buses, Fox's biscuits and JCB construction equipment. We enjoy a classic ferret around the town's main streets before calling into Coffee & Cream (or was it Godley & Creme?) for a well-earned breakfast.

- A new style of D9 driving -

A gentle stroll down to the railway station was now in order, allowing us the opportunity for views across the neighbouring racecourse. The station itself is fairly basic and lacks a ticket office although there does seem to be a new footbridge plus an eye-catching mural that means D9 gets to drive for Stevensons.

- The Secretary skittles the opposition -

Into the afternoon and it's time to let the pub games battle commence. The Vaults is a wonderful old Bass parlour pub where we find the table skittles ready and waiting for us. Having acquainted ourselves with the rules, we set about pegging out our scores whereby the Chairman assumes the role of 'Wipeout Willie' in his attempt to secure perfect nines. Sadly for Mr D9 it is the Secretary who has the happy knack of closing out the exact number of pins required for victory.

- Mine's a double! -

Having triumphed in the skittles skirmish, Mr WME then strikes gold in the darting duel thanks to a scarcely believable leg when he hit not one double but two to claim the crown. As such, the Secretary departed Uttoxeter with an unblemished combined 4-0 scoreline and thus thinks he might need to drink Bass more often.

- D9 bashes the 841 -

From Bass to the bus and a return 841 that allows the Chairman to indulge in some D9 driving demonstrations, sporting a Christmas antidote hat in the process. Bramshall, Stowe-by-Chartley and Hixon are the other main villages covered by the service.

- The Great Haywood Grinch -

We alight at Great Haywood where the Fox & Hounds pub is closed and up for auction. The Clifford Arms is open though meaning the Bah Humbug hat gets a further airing accompanied by some Pendle Witches Brew from Moorhouse's of Burnley.

- Make that another double! -

We had a bit of time before the next bus to Stafford so we decided to sample Little Haywood too. Here the Red Lion sees darting hostilities resumed, and although the Chairman pulled a couple of legs back it was still Mr WME who was overall champion courtesy of a remarkable double 17 finish that even had the pub regulars gazing on in amazement.

- A Titanic Tempter -

Back in Stafford there are plenty of inns and taverns to choose from, notably the Shrewsbury Arms (with a beermat ceiling and a room full of clocks), the Rose & Crown (Joule's), the Market Vaults (formerly Joxer Brady's) and the Lamb. My favourite as always is the Sun Inn, showcasing the range of Titanic ales in all their glory, and a delay to our train home means that we have to seek out the Railway in the backstreets for a swift closing half. Despite D9's humbug hat there was plenty of festive cheer throughout the day, and we look forward to more merry marketing heading towards the New Year.