Hub Marketing 2022: East Birmingham (with a smidgen of Solihull)

Reclaiming its rightful place on the Hub Marketing Board calendar is our almost annual East Birmingham trip, a hub hallmark that has provided magnificent memories of Coleshill, Small Heath, Kent's Moat and Chelmsley Wood in years gone by. Ideally we like to stage the East Brum (this year with added sprinklings of Solihull) in March to coincide with what the Chairman likes to call 'St Pattie Hughes Day', so the 2022 date works well for that...

- St Matthews Business Centre -

Friday 11th March is close enough to St Patrick's Day for our purposes and the trip goes full throttle ahead despite an iffy weather forecast. A morning meeting at Bull Street Metro Stop precedes a first class ferret through some of Birmingham's Heartlands. Gosta Green gives us glimpses of the Aston University Campus - including the Sir Doug Ellis Sports Centre, originally built in 1860 as Woodcock Street Public Baths - before Great Lister Street entices us with some classic gasholders on the skyline. On Nechells Parkway we pause to admire St Matthew's Church, a Grade II-listed Gothic structure that was first consecrated in 1840 and has latterly had its west end partially converted into hosting a Business Centre.

- Paying homage to Washwood Heath Garage -

A dollop of Duddeston is next on the agenda, sniffing out mystery doorways by the railway station although Mr D9 can't be certain whether it was a closet or not. The former Winning Post pub is now the Nimab Mosque's Welfare Centre then we saunter down to Saltley past the Signalling Centre. Adderley Road serves as our silly songs setting, today's choices having a clear Irish theme thanks to 'The Sick Note' by the Dubliners and Joe Dolan's 'Westmeath Bachelor'. Saltley Gate roundabout is our prompt to catch the number 94 bus, giving the Chairman ample opportunity to demonstrate his driving along the Washwood Heath Road; alas the old bus garage here closed in the late 1990s to be replaced by a Pak supermarket.

- The Kingfisher, Smiths Wood -

After a sprightly ride through Ward End, Hodge Hill and Castle Bromwich, we alight on Green Lane in readiness for some breakfast. CJ's Cafe on Windleaves Road is our greasy spoon of choice, supplying large Full Englishes with thin discs of black pudding - hopefully Mr D9 isn't risking too much gourmet gas later on. We wash down the nosh with a pint in the Kingfisher, looking every inch the flat-roofed community boozer but proving surprisingly presentable inside following an extensive refurbishment last year. Dimpled brown bench seating and Sky Sports News screens debating Chelsea's ownership crisis try to detain us but we take our Carlings across to the strobe-lit dartboard for a few ill-fated legs of sporting ineptitude.

- Our Special Guest 'Arrives' -

To be fair, D9 Destroyer isn't playing that badly and thoroughly deserves his 4-0 victory, it's just that WME Whirlwind was utterly hopeless and seemingly more intent on leaving holes in the wallpaper than hitting the actual board. The predicted rain is beginning to set in by the time we extract ourselves onto Auckland Drive, so our spirits are lifted by our guest of honour 'Pattie' who times his arrival to hear DJ Hubbacini counting down the 2021 Pick of the Hubs charts. Wilfrid Brambell, Max Bygraves, Leonard Nimoy and Harry H Corbett all have designs on the top spot but the number one song of last year could only ever be Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich with - classic warning! - 'The Loos of England'. 

- Could it be the Coleshill Hub? -

Chart formalities done and dusted, we seek shelter in the Toby Jug which is a Chester Road hostelry to the north of Kingshurst. A mobility scooter welcoming committee prepares us for another Carling and a read of the local newspaper, where to our amazement a whole page is dedicated to activities at the Coleshill Hub. Custard yellow paintwork and 1970s number ones are part of the entertainment before we undergo our regular PopMaster penance. For once we score reasonably well on Ken Bruce's legendary quiz, racking up 30 then 24 points thanks to unexpected expertise regarding The Fortunes and Fats Domino.

- Jan's Nets, Yardley -

With the precipitation situation continuing to look ominous, we catch the 58 route on Over Green Drive for wiggly journey via Hurst Lane, Packington Avenue (the edges of Shard End), Lea Village, Lea Hall railway station and Whittington Oval. Our target is Yardley hence we hop off on Church Road to survey the stores clustered either side of the Yew Tree roundabout; Jan's Nets particularly stands out for its dated shopfront while we also spot Ivy's Cafe tea rooms and a branch of Lloyds Bank. The hometime rush means the lollipop ladies are out in force helping the pupils of Yardley Primary School cross Harvey Road and Yew Tree Lane.

- Drying out with a Lyndon Guinness -

We've earned ourselves a couple more pub pit stops, the first of which is St Bernard's Grange on Barrows Lane. This elegant townhouse was apparently once associated with the Wimbush family who had a number of shops across the Birmingham area; these days it is a standard Sizzling chain affair showing Hey Duggie cartoons and trying to tempt kids into the attached Fuzzy Ed's Fun House. We however swerve any thoughts of soft play in favour of trudging across towards Olton, whereby various karaoke renditions of 'O Pattie Boy, the hubs, the hubs are calling' take our minds off the drenching we're about to receive. The Chairman is still in full wet weather regalia when we reach the bustling Lyndon for a restorative glass of Guinness.

- A Proper Job at Platform Three -

We really rather liked the Lyndon, encouraged to see a simple suburban set-up really pulling in the punters. We can similarly declare ourselves partial to Platform Three, a Warwick Road wine bar and eatery that's particularly handy for Olton Station - pricey Proper Job and shaggy sheepdog stools are perhaps our defining memories here whilst acknowledging the place has a relaxing refined ambiance. Time is tight if we're going to get back to Brum Central within the Chairman's curfew but we can't overlook McDwyers, a classic terracotta tavern on the A41 near Sparkhill. Old-fashioned Irish haunts are sadly becoming a rare breed but this is a fine survivor; naturally we partake of Guinness and revel in architectural details that include excellent tiled stairwells and a proud clock turret. It's a shame to leave but go we must, flagging down a number 6 and squeezing in a Grey Lantern splash and dash prior to our trams home. It's been hectic, it's been damp and it's been tremendous fun - cheers!