Hub Marketing 2017: Christmas

The culmination of another year’s worth of Hub Marketing madness has arrived, meaning D9 and I must attend to our customary December business. There are calendars to unveil, Hub Awards to present, Pick of the Pops with 'Paul Hubbacini' and of course the annual resurrection of Charles Pemberton Rowbottom III…

- D9 drives the 529 -

This will be a rare Tuesday trip for the Hub Marketing Board which possibly explains why the Chairman is piling up the cob penalties by the time he finally clocks in just after 1 pm. Poor old D9 has been suffering from illness recently but has recovered sufficiently to adopt his favourite steering pose aboard the 529. With gear-crunching aplenty he guides us to Willenhall where the Falcon on Gomer Street stages the grand calendar reveal - the 2018 edition features pink hair, lollipop signs and Stechford baldness.

- Dereliction Bald Spot -

Talking of bald spots, the Chairman takes the opportunity to flaunt his when surveying the wreck of a Moat Street factory as we ferret through towards Ashmore Lake. Our silly song selections have Dora Bryan longing for a Beatle for Christmas whereas Keith Chegwin extols the virtues of the humble spud. The Secretary's sleeves are then on high alert as the WME radar picks out the Willenhall CHART Community Hub plus the former Ponderosa Social Club (still with some vintage Carling Black Label branding).

- The darts victor is... -

Our darting destination for the day is the Cross Keys on Ashmore Lake Road where Dickinson's Real Deal provides the televisual backdrop to our oche occupation. A tightly-fought encounter sees WME Whirlwind prevail by three legs to two, helped largely by a double top finish for a 59 checkout. Adding these to the scores from across the year gives our 2017 total as WME 52-29 D9, meaning the Whirlwind has retained his crown for the fifth year in succession - maybe 2018 will see the D9 Destroyer triumph at long last?

- Where are we again? -

Two tempting taverns are next on the agenda as we account for Golden Glow in the Jolly Collier (a 2018 Good Beer Guide entrant on Lucknow Road) followed by Robinson's Dizzy Blonde in the Whimsey. An honourable pool draw (one frame each) precedes the Pick of the Pops top 13 chart rundown whereby resident dj Hubbacini announces the placings on our hit parade. The top three are: #3 - 'Gossip Calypso' by Bernard Cribbins; #2 - 'It's Me Again Margaret' by Ray Stevens; #1 - 'I'm in Charge' by Bruce Forsyth. In all the excitement we almost forget where we are, so luckily there's a helpful hint to be found in the Key Master as we partake of Greene King IPA.

- Tribute in the Navigation -

Heading back towards Willenhall town centre, the Secretary's sights are set upon the Prince of Wales only for us to discover it isn't open. Faced with something of a dilemma over where to try instead, the 25 bus provides the answer by shuttling us through to Fibbersley for an encounter with the Navigation. The Bentley Canal historically passed close by in giving the pub its name, and nowadays the place is a lively community local serving some St Austell beers and incorporating Bert's Bistro.

- The Chairman refuels at Fibbersley Garage -

We've received news that Charles Pemberton Rowbottom the Third has awoken from his lengthy hibernation and is demanding our presence for the Hub Marketing Awards. Chairman D9 therefore doses up on Diesel at an old-fashioned petrol station as we make tracks for the Beehive on Coventry Street, just off the main Willenhall Road. CPR3 is indeed in attendance so - with Banks's Mild in hand - he proclaims the various category winners for 2017: Horseley Heath's Hebron Hall has the 'Closet of the Year', the best darts checkout was WME's 3-dart 101 in Fenside, and the most expensive round goes to D9 courtesy of the Grainstore. With the accolades assigned, that concludes hub matters for another year but we are already looking forward to 2018.

- Cheers and Merry Christmas from the Hub Marketing Board! -

Festive Foraging in Leamington and Warwick

Nick Turpin's Festive Forages have become one of the exploration events of the year, when each December I join forces with our redoubtable highwayman hero to tour taverns and partake of the ale. Our original plan had been to make merry in High Wycombe but snow in the forecast prompted us to stick safely with Warwickshire where there would still be much fun to be had...

- Leamington Station Sign -

Buckinghamshire is therefore spared our scrutiny for now as we convene aboard a Leamington-bound train, Nick appearing at Warwick Parkway on cue as intended. Given that Leamington is recognised for its regal architecture, it's pleasing to note that the town's railway station is an appropriately impressive building - 1930s art deco more so than Regency admittedly but very handsome with a neo-classical Portland stone frontage.

- Old Librarian in the Old Library -

Nick Turpin is in charge of our itinerary today and instantly sets his sights upon the Old Library, a former Wetherspoons establishment on Bath Street (in JDW days it was known as the Jug & Jester). A half of the house beer - Old Library Ale as supplied by Jennings - provides initial refreshment as we read through some previous research that Nick has resurrected for the occasion. Prior to being a pub, the building served as a theatre and indeed a library - no wonder we feel very much at home!

- Fizzy Moon -

Making our way along the Parade, we pause to see how Queen Victoria's statue was displaced an inch across its pedestal by German bombs in 1940. There are elephants to enjoy on Livery Street before we chance upon the Fizzy Moon, a Regent Street gin and fizz palace that happens to have its own microbrewery. We say hello to Santa whilst imbibing of Reinbeer and We're Three Kings, although the 9% King Sadhu IPA is a little too strong even for our seasonal delectation.

- Feeling Festive! -

Besides the beer, Fizzy Moon makes an impression with quirky artefacts including one of those face-in-the-hole saucy photo boards you find on seaside piers (I decided to include the picture of Nick as Father Christmas rather than the buxom young wench equivalent). If that isn't entertainment enough, we merely have to move a few yards down the street to meet Spiderman and Batman scaling the walls of Murphy's Bar. Such a surreal sight demands closer examination so we make this Irish emporium our lunchtime stop, happily devouring a bargain £2.50 cajun chicken, chips and salad. 

- Remains of the Great Western -

All this excitement must be getting too much for Nick Turpin as before I know it he's slipped into a coma... the Big Cat Coma just down from Leamington Station that is! A half of Duck Soup ensures our slumberous interlude is sufficiently restorative and we can catch the 13:55 to Warwick with a spring in our collective step. A sad sight awaits us when we alight however - the charred remains of the Great Western lurk at the bottom of the station driveway after the pub suffered fire damage earlier this year. We very much doubt this place will ever open again, demolition surely being its only fate.

- Lord Nelson -

Our Warwick wanderings take us first to the Lord Nelson, a community local on Emscote Road where we encounter Slaughterhouse Winter Ale and admire the nautical timber effect in the lounge. From here we progress into the town centre to do trade with the Old Coffee Tavern, recently established in a grand townhouse on Old Square. Some Maggs' Magnificent Mild (West Berkshire Brewery) lives up to its billing while the open kitchen adds a certain drama to proceedings.

- Rigsby's Cellar Bar -

The Turpin travel plans also include a quick look in the Tilted Wig (a 2018 Good Beer Guide entrant situated overlooking the Market Place) and a brave dive into the Railway in honour of Mr D9. That said, our favourite find undoubtedly must be Rigsby's Cellar Bar, a tiny little drinking den in the style of a continental bierkeller. Blonde Star in the basement is the order of the day here, wondering what lurks behind a curious locked door (it isn't the toilet as that's inside a Narnia-esque wardrobe by the entrance). We even have time for a Stout Snout in the Wild Boar prior to the train home, meaning our full-on forage has surely lived up to the customary exalted standards. Cheers!

A Tettenhall Taster

Friday 1st December 2017 and a broken mobile phone puts paid to any hopes of a full day out as I have to wait in for the replacement to be delivered. Thankfully said item arrives just after midday so I can salvage a few hours of photography with Tettenhall being my target...

- Smestow Valley Nature Reserve -

I begin my afternoon stroll then with a look at the Smestow Valley Nature Reserve, a corridor of open space which effectively follows the Smestow Brook between Aldersley and Wightwick. Woodland and meadows offer a range of habitats where nature lovers can spot various creatures including breeding birds, newts and Daubenton's bats.

- Compton Halt -

Aside from the wildlife, I enjoy reacquainting myself with the former Wolverhampton to Stourbridge (via Wombourne) railway line which has been retained as a leisure walkway. Although I've investigated the route several times over the years, it's still nice to be back at Compton Halt rummaging around the platform remains.

- Meccano Bridge -

One of my favourite features on the old railway is the steel truss bridge which spans the Staffordshire & Worcestershire Canal between Compton and Newbridge. The girder construction has led to its colloquial name as the 'Meccano Bridge' in reference to the well-known toy modelling kit created by Frank Hornby.

- Tettenhall Goods Depot -

Tettenhall Station is another location I'm very fond of, bringing back memories of when Wolverhampton Council's mobile library van was based in the goods shed. These days the main station building houses the Cupcake Lane cafe, the weighbridge hut is a gift shop and the goods depot contains a transport museum.

- St Michael's & All Angels -

From Meadow View a skip across Lower Green brings me to a longstanding Tettenhall landmark whereby St Michael & All Angels parish church proudly flies the flag of St George whilst swathed in cool sunshine. The church tower is said to date from the 14th century and has a peal of eight bells. The path from the far end of the churchyard emerges onto Church Hill Road, an intriguingly secluded corner of Wolverhampton, before Stockwell Road leads me to Tettenhall Pool.

- Tettenhall Christmas Tree -

In years past I vividly recall admiring the yuletide decorations at Upper Green, all twinkling lights and festive banners with a 'Seasons Greetings: Tettenhall' message taking centre stage. Things seem rather more limited in advance of Christmas 2017, with the village tree quite a small affair - I still expect it all looks very enchanting come the evening though!

- Royal Oak, Tettenhall Wood -

Nursery Walk allotments and the entrances to both Tettenhall College and the Nuffield Hospital are encountered as I make my way towards Tettenhall Wood (Wood Road doing the navigation honours). A quick glance at the Institute and Blooms' Florist (complete with cutely crafted reindeers outside - see below) precedes a well-earned pint in the Royal Oak. A perch in the public bar is quite a treat, perusing several brass plates commemorating sadly missed regulars while I sup my Banks's Mild and munch a crusty ham cob. After that I make my way home to do battle with my new phone, closing my camera action for the day with a cheeky snap of those reindeer characters. Cheers!

- Not long now until Christmas! -