Monday, June 20

Majesterial Marketing in North Birmingham

The Hub Marketing Board are meeting by royal decree for the first Hub outing of the 2022 summer season. The Chairman has chosen North Birmingham as his preferred destination and the weather looks set to be scorching... 

- A Right Royal Drive -
It's Friday 17th June 2022 and temperatures are set to soar towards 30 degrees on the hottest day of the year so far. Slathering on the sunblock, board members meet at Bradley Lane to catch the tram now that Midland Metro services have been reinstated again after recent safety issues. This trip will be notable for not one but two inaugural appearances as Chairman D9 and Secretary WME are being joined by a new hub mascot (a Twirlywoos character we've christened 'Woo Gary' as a nod to a certain radio DJ) and none other than Her Majesty The Queen. Her Highness is keen to get stuck straight into hub business and takes over driving demo duties as we board the 11C Outer Circle at Winson Green - good steering ma'am!

- The bald spot surveys Perry Barr regeneration -
Our first principal port of call will be Perry Barr, an area which is undergoing huge changes in line with hosting the forthcoming Commonwealth Games. Gone is the old A34 flyover while the Seventh Trap pub has similarly been consigned to history, much to Mr D9's dismay. Major roadworks are in place along Walsall Road near the One Stop shopping centre and the local bus interchange is fenced off pending its anticipated overhaul. Nearby, the transformation of Perry Barr railway station is now complete, updating the previously depressing 1960s facilities with something more befitting of the 21st century. The new frontage is a modern bold design with rusty-hued cladding and improved accessibility features. 

- Tame Valley Canal, nearing Spaghetti -
Further transport-related developments are also afoot as regards the National Express West Midlands bus depot, with the existing Perry Barr Garage towards the top of Wellhead Lane due to be phased out when its replacement opens nearer to Aston Lane this coming autumn. The Queen graciously inspects each site before we track down the towpath of the Tame Valley Canal via a Witton wiggle and Deykin Avenue. Urban scenery doesn't come much grittier than that on offer as we approach Spaghetti Junction, the famous mass of concrete ribbons having celebrated its 50th anniversary on 24th May - whether it looks good for its age is open to debate although Mr D9 certainly considers it to be a thing of beauty.

- A Pype Hayes Cuppa -
After a photographic sweep of Salford Junction and environs (girders, masonry and graffti aplenty), we exit onto Lichfield Road in order to catch a number 67 bus. The Chairman recalls the days when this route had a five minute frequency and served the many tower blocks of Castle Vale although currently it operates every fifteen minutes. A steady Tyburn Road trundle brings us neatly into Pype Hayes where the Bagot Arms is a fire-ravaged wreck with heavily charred roof timbers skeletally reaching for the sky - such a sorry state of affairs. Happier news is that the Pype Hayes Transport Cafe is still going strong with all of its vintage Pepsi branding and Dixieland pinball machines intact. An All Day Special Breakfast here is a must, especially with fried bread, porky-pink sausages and crispy bacon to savour. 

- The Woo Mascot at the Digby -
Regardless of the Bagot's sad fate, the Digby was always in line to be our first pub of the day on this occasion and can be found nestled off the A452 Chester Road close to Pype Hayes Park. The midday heat is bordering on stifling so we are grateful for the chance to cool off indoors, introducing our Woo Gary mascot to the joys of San Miguel lager - only a half mind while he's still in training! Suitably refreshed, we endure a sweltering stroll along Orphanage Road into Erdington, passing a bust of the industrialist and philanthropist Sir Josiah Mason. Our silly song selections are declared at this point too, Mr D9 choosing 'The Bucket of Water Song' as performed by members of the TV show Tiswas while the Secretary unearths Bill Maynard's 1975 single 'Pheasant Plucker's Son'.  

- The Chairman gets a Standing Ovation -
Indeed, Mr WME's pick was inspired by our next watering hole, the Pheasant Plucker being a bar and grill affair close to the fire station. Both this and the Church Tavern (on the High Street up by St Barnabas's) occupy the earthier end of Erdington's pub spectrum, lively haunts with folk having fun in the sunshine but perhaps not the kind of places normally frequented by Her Majesty. Nor do we suspect that the Queen usually has cause to sing along to 'Ride on a Tractor', a cheeky slice of Irish innuendo that probably crops up regularly on the Church Tavern's jukebox. In between times we attend to more formal Board matters by staging a photocall at the Standing Ovation Hub, part of the almost-vacant Central Square precinct.

- The New Inns, Erdington -
As much as we enjoyed the Pheasant Plucker and the Church Tavern, our favourite Erdington find has to be the New Inns on Summer Road. Frosted front windows are a promising heritage sign but it's the Irish hospitality that really wins us over, from tricolour-painted panelling to the framed hurling sticks or a whole array of Gaelic football jerseys pinned to the ceiling. Alas it's too warm to truly appreciate any Guinness so we stick to the Carling Shandy approach while keeping abreast of happenings at Royal Ascot. The 77A bus is then on hand from Six Ways to whisk us towards Walmley via Minworth Asda; this Walsall - Sutton Coldfield service has been extended off-peak to cover the Erdington gaps left behind after Claribels stopped running the 167 and 168 routes. 

- Darting motivation at the Oak -
You all no doubt know by now that Mr D9 loves his flat-roofed boozers on far flung housing estates so us stopping off at the Oak on Calder Drive shouldn't come as a surprise. The 1980s breezeblock frontage belies quite a smart interior whereby we swiftly set up base in the rear sports bar. WME Whirlwind's darts form has been utterly dismal lately but here he seems to be a man possessed, nailing checkout after checkout as if spurred on by the astroturf board surrounds or cartoon catchphrases (see above). Poor D9 Destroyer simply can't get a leg in edgeways and suffers a Walmley whitewash - chalk that down as 5-0 to the Secretary if you please! Our subsequent Sutton Coldfield connection arrives in the form of the X14 provided we ignore an impromptu street barbecue underway outside Falcon Lodge shopping parade.

- The Queen in the Queen Inn -
From Sutton we opt for Boldmere as something sensible on the way home, meaning we can sample the Cask & Craft microbar/bottle shop to break our journey. 'Extra Special Beans' is part of the Siren Brewery's Project Barista concept that seeks to combine beer and coffee in inventive ways - the resultant tipple is very drinkable if perhaps an acquired taste. Chairman D9 insists we undertake some robustness checks on the route 5 timetables so we requisition a table on the Sutton Park's side patio and pass the DUAG (Drink Up And Go) challenge with flying colours. Last but not least is a West Bromwich nightcap for which Her Majesty gets the casting vote on choice of venue; naturally the Queen Inn seems a highly appropriate option and our sovereign seems suitably content with the resultant drop of Doom Bar. Cheers!

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