The anti-hub marketing movement is gathering momentum in response to the increased threat of TBT, thick blue lines and strange hub arrangements. As a result the next meeting of the Anti-Hub Marketing Board has been scheduled for Friday 28th September 2012 with Coventry as the designated venue. Members are advised to consult the following agenda, and to note that penalties for lateness will now be applied under the revised constitution - these are charged at the rate of one half-pint or cob per fifteen minutes overdue...
The Coventry meeting is due to commence at 0900 hours sharp, with members advised to catch the 0830 London Euston train from Birmingham New Street (a vestibule area has been reserved to meet demand). Upon arrival at Coventry we shall proceed with a small tour of Spon End, comparing the contrasting architectural styles of Spon Street and seeing what our Chairman makes of the connecting subway.
- 7 at Brownshill Green -
Dodging persistent drizzle, members will then be invited to join the number 7 bus route for a ride to Brownshill Green, This will encompass the areas of Coundon and Allesley, with the Coundon Hotel, former Coundon signal box and the Rainbow Inn providing notable landmarks en route. The turning circle terminus on Browns Lane will offer the opportunity for photographs, weather-permitting, although views of the Jaguar plant may well be limited.
An energetic hike is then proposed to take members from Brownshill Green to Whitmore Park via Keresley. You may wish to note the White Lion pub, a 1930's pumping station and the Keresley Grange School as we make our way through Keresley Heath. A connection with the number 13 bus is included from Beake Avenue, whereby our Chairman has promised to perform a driving demonstration complete with a makeshift quiff in honour of former Coventry bus driver Ron West.
- Tribute quiff in action -
Whitmore Park will involve a key element of the morning's protest whereby a photo call will take place outside the Hub on Wheelwright Lane, provided of course that the Secretary's camera is not suffering from annoying zoom errors. We shall then reboard the 13 a short distance before locating the Coventry mobile library at Holy Family Church.
- It's the Hub! -
In a last-minute arrangement that members should find most agreeable, breakfast (bacon sandwiches) will be provided courtesy of the Craftsman pub on Beake Avenue. With a further ride on the 13 (passing the former Sandy Lane Garage Site), members will also be able to seek refreshment in the beamed surroundings of Whitefriars Olde Ale House where the Secretary's preference for tarmac-styled beers may once more be displayed (albeit Slaughterhouse's Starboard Porter is definitely on the enjoyable side of creosote).
Heading into the afternoon, we recommend a stop at the Biggin Hall on Binley Road (where the Chairman can drool over a spread prepared for a forthcoming wake), and then our attentions will turn to Willenhall. The 13 will drop us off on Remembrance Road so that members can explore local features including the Haggard Centre, the Co-op supermarket and the Primary Care centre - a toilet hunt has also been factored in so that allowances are made for the Chairman's miscreant bladder.
- 13 at Willenhall -
Having caught the 13 down to Willenhall, we intend to utilise the 21 route by way of leaving the estate. This will connect us to Whitley (where the Royal Oak pub will be disappointingly closed), where we can link with the 801 route for a ride around Cheylesmore. An optional visit to the New Haven can be arranged if the Chairman is feeling specifically "dive-hungry".
The 801 will then convey us forth to the Warwick University Campus, where we will encounter swathes of students excitedly boarding the bus in anticipation of their weekend endeavours. Being as the Chairman no longer passes for a student (due to a significant shortage of hair), we will have to alight at Earlsdon where another Royal Oak will also thwart our attempts to raise awareness of the anti-hub campaign. Nonetheless, the City Arms Wetherspoons will restore the pub quotient and ensure that we don't fall behind with our intended remit.
The Craven Run has been a staunch supporter of various rallies over the years, in recognition of which it is once again proposed for inclusion on this agenda. The Coombe Abbey, the Hearsall Inn and the Chestnut Tree will allow us to cover a lot of ground within a small geographical area, and what's more the Secretary will be able to claim the Discount of the Day award courtesy of neighbouring rounds costing £2.40. The Chairman might almost choke on a cheese cob once he realises the underhand tactics being employed.
- The Chairman has a cob on him -
With standing orders being suspended, the remaining item for discussion should be Stoke Heath, specifically the Rose & Woodbine on North Street. However, the Secretary has misplaced the relevant information and a search for some bearings has proved fruitless despite a thorough trawl of backstreet locations. We have therefore passed a motion to include Barras Green as a late amendment to the itinerary, thus permitting calls in the Hastings and the Old Red Horse by way of compensation.
- A final showing for the quiff in the Hastings -