Monday, August 10

Hub Marketing 2015: The Telford Trek

Friday 7th August 2015 and the Hub Marketing Board's annual Shropshire away day this year involves a return to Telford where we put the town's revised Arriva bus network to the test...

- 4 at Telford Bus Station -
Chairman D9 is eager for the earliest possible start so it's the 8 at 07:35 that we board at Wolverhampton, the route effectively being the old 891/892 under a new number. Wergs, Albrighton, Cosford and Shifnal (with Drayton Road loop) are all accounted for, although we didn't go fully into Tong village. At Telford Bus Station the Secretary tries to make sense of new route numbers including the 4 to Leegomery.

- Spotted at Southwater -
Before any more buses though it is time to catch up on Telford's recent transformation. Central to this has been the Southwater project, creating a major leisure destination with cinema, bars, restaurants and a hotel. Southwater One is home to Telford's new library plus a Hungry Horse pub (the Wrekin Giant) and a University facility. The whole development is rather impressive actually and includes a new lake that forms an attractive gateway to Telford Town Park and the International Centre, even coaxing the bald spot out of hiding!

- Muxton Primary -
Back to the buses and the 6 provides a speedy link to Muxton, an old village that seems to have morphed into a modern outlying housing estate up near Donnington. We alight at Marshbrook Way to debate the day's silly songs selection - there's a distinct canine theme afoot with the Barron Knight's 'Sit Song' being countered by 'Oh Susannah' by the Singing Dogs (now there's a treat for your ears). Muxton Primary School sits neatly among the newer houses before Wellington Road offers glimpses of a handful of shops, a Serbian Orthodox Church and the White House Hotel.

- Donnington Little Theatre -
A clock tower and a McDonald's also catch our eye as we proceed into Donnington, spotting the Little Theatre as an auditorium for amateur dramatics. Turreff Avenue sees the Secretary clutching a strawberry milkshake while trying to photograph the local branch library followed by the site of the Champion Jockey (the pub was replaced by a Morrisons supermarket which is now being turned into a Home Bargains store). 

- The Customary Closet Shot -
Wrekin Drive next and a parade of shops that includes a Co-op, Lloyds Bank, a takeaway or two and a new entry for Mr D9's closet collection. We speculate that the Oasis might well be a former pub now housing a chip shop, but alas we couldn't find a greasy spoon for a belated breakfast.

- "Everything's been Hubbed!!!" -
And so to Wrockwardine Wood, a place that will surely enter Hub Marketing legend. Secretary WME's idea to call by was sensible enough in principle, but things started to go awry when we realised most of the bus stops in the area had been taken out of use - it seems we've found a pocket of Telford that has fallen off the new network map, hence the Chairman laments the rubbing out of thick blue lines. 

- Holy Trinity, Wrockwardine Wood -
To make matters worse, neither of the local pubs appeared to be open either, although we lingered around just in case by filling time taking photos of the athletics club and Holy Trinity Church. Alas the pubs still thwarted us, a situation especially disappointing given that the Bulls Head had a lovely tiled frontage, and we couldn't help wondering if the fates were conspiring against us.

- D9 6 WME 1... -
There was nothing for it but to plough on into St Georges, still hoping for that elusive opening pint as things became increasingly farcical. Both the Lamb and the Talbot were also shut (on a Friday lunchtime?!) meaning our poor old Chairman was beginning to have hub hallucinations such was his need for urgent refreshment. Thankfully the Albion Inn on Station Hill came to the rescue with some much-savoured Jennings Bitter, the restorative power of which prompted Mr D9 into some deadly darts finishing and a sizeable 6-1 lead. In the Secretary's defence, Mr WME knew his Wolves allegiances meant he would probably never prosper in a placed called the Albion!

- Disconsolate Driving -
That was however as good as it got for D9 darts-wise as a famous fightback was soon on the cards. A few quick Ironbridge Gold-fuelled legs in the Cottage Spring got WME back into contention, then the comeback was completed in the Turf courtesy of a spectacular 140 throw plus a proper double checkout. D9 had gone from triumph to disaster in the blink of an eye, so he was not at all a happy chappy when taking to the wheel of the 5A for our ride back into Telford.

- 2 at Telford -
Our new network navigation continues with the 2, which along with the 1 has partially replaced the former South Telford Circular 11 and 22 services between Sutton Hill, Madeley and the town centre. The Chairman is still mourning the loss of the darts decider as we hop aboard for a ride via Malinslee, Dawley and Aqueduct Surgery to Woodside, a place where all the road names begin with a W.

- An Elizabethan Excerpt -
D9's disposition improves markedly though once he'd spotted the Elizabethan, just the type of flat-roofed estate boozer to set him all adrool. Our Worthingtons here is accompanied by a generous cheese and onion cob each as the Secretary enjoys the background Irish dancing music.

- D9 chasing the birds again -
The 1 is the reverse route of the 2 so becomes our logical connection back to Dawley, where Secretary WME seeks out the Elephant & Castle as a Good Beer Guide entrant. This pub is the sister to the Crown in Oakengates (a place the Board have enjoyed visiting previously) and does us nicely for Burton Bridge Porter, scratchings and a bit of cheeky pumpclip purchasing on behalf of a certain Mr Beardsmore. Further down Dawley High Street is the Crown, scene of a swift half while the Chairman tried to train the resident parrot to say "It doesn't make a big fat profit".

- Price Pain in Tettenhall -
Our time in Telford draws to a close as the 17:35 number 8 takes us back towards Wolverhampton. There is still scope for a Tettenhall intervention, although Mr D9 rather wishes we'd avoided the Crown at Wergs having fallen foul of the most expensive round of the day by quite some distance (ouch indeed!) Wasp chewing is kept to a minimum though as WME has a quiz to attend, so its a prompt farewell until next time. Cheers!

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