Monday, May 12

Hub Marketing 2014: North Birmingham

After an April break the Hub Marketing Board were back in session and had North Birmingham squarely in their sights. Sleeves, discounts and bald spot opportunities were all very much up for grabs during a tour of Stockland Green, Pype Hayes, Wylde Green and Boldmere...

- Winson Green Metro -
The day begins with a bout of tram hokey-cokey until the Chairman and the Secretary are reunited at Wednesbury Parkway. In all the confusion poor old D9 had incurred yet another cob penalty despite the Secretary having encountered his own timing issues. We alight at Winson Green with its colourful railings so that the 11C Outer Circle can be treated to a driving demonstration.

- Stan's Transport Cafe -
Some pizza-sized steering gets us safely to Handsworth where we investigate the Farcroft, a large Ansells landmark on Rookery Road. The Chairman is getting extremely excited and the reason for this soon becomes clear when Stan's Transport Cafe comes tumbling out of his sleeve - we have other breakfast plans on this occasion but the vintage Pepsi logo means we are sure to return before too long.

- Bald Spot Bingo! -
We hop back aboard the Outer Circle and continue our ride round to Stockland Green via Perry Barr and Witton. Mr D9 is on a mission to have a closer look at the Plaza Gala but unwittingly leaves his bald spot exposed when crossing Streetly Road. The bingo hall remains pretty much as we remembered it but the Modern China restaurant opposite has closed down, meaning the future of a building that was previously the Stockland pub is once again uncertain. 

- The Brookvale Bird -
Strolling back down the hill past the Hare & Hounds we venture into Brookvale Park where the Chairman's propensity for clambering onto animal artworks became all too apparent. His collection already included the Shrewsbury sheep and the Wednesbury swan but to that we can now add the Brookvale Bird - is no sculpture safe in his presence?

- Good Cheer on George Road -
With the Chairman ahead on the sleeve stakes the onus was now on the Secretary to see what gems he could summon from his repertoire. Luckily he had something in mind just a little further along George Road, whereby an old-fashioned corner shop still sports signs of a Good Cheer Cellars off licence.

- Pype Hayes Transport Cafe -
Weaving onwards to Gravelly Hill, there is time to pay tribute to one of D9's former work colleagues as we pause by some battered hearses near Salford Circus. Breakfast beckons so an articulated 67 Bendibus gives us a lift up the Tyburn Road where the Chairman is on the trail of transport cafe heaven. After a bit of a Kingsbury Road wild goose chase we eventually meander towards Pype Hayes Park where our sought-after establishment is among the shops opposite.

- No Hair Cut Required -
D9 had certainly given the Pype Hayes Transport Cafe a big build up but it more than lived up to expectations. From the Pepsi logos to the pyrex plates, the place felt largely untouched since the 1970's and boasted some antique Dixieland slot machines that are sure to have kept many a Chester Road trucker occupied during their tea breaks. We could not resist sampling the special breakfast complete with builders tea mugs, fried slice and the usual full English accoutrements - quite a treat!

- Beer in Boldmere -
Bolstered by such hearty fayre we set about sampling some North Birmingham boozers, catching the 28 to the Yenton and then touring the Boldmere area beyond Chester Road Station. The Rose & Crown on Gravelly Lane saw our regular darts duel get underway (backed by the strains of Jo Frost parenting advice), while the Boldmere Oak was a basic Banks's pub just after the Baptist Church. A bit of cunning planning from the Secretary means that the Chairman has the honour in the somewhat expensive Boldmere Harvester (staff were a rare species here) whereas WME can pocket the Wetherspoons prices in the neighbouring Bishop Vesey.

- A Crafty Checkout -
The Chairman had led the darts after the Rose & Crown but it was a different story in the Sutton Park. Any hope of hitting doubles had long since been abandoned but D9 was still confident of victory given that WME was a long way back on 94 - two twenties and a treble 18 later and some secretarial smugness was very much on the agenda.

- Cheers from the Hargate Arms -
Mr D9 definitely needed some driving therapy after that shock to the system, so there was more pizza-inspired steering action on the 5 back to West Bromwich. A quick pit stop at Pheasey allows us to check the cricket score in a packed-out Cat & Fiddle, thus leaving us with a brace of landing points in West Brom itself. The Old Crown brought the curtain down but it was the Hargate Arms that made the greater impression, the Chairman nostalgically reflecting on bygone days when the landlord would send him packing with cries of "OUT!!" whenever the young D9 was spotted in the vicinity. There was no need for eviction tonight as the Secretary cemented darting victory before a tram from Dartmouth Street delivered our heroes home. 

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